Its been a few days that I find myself rather isolated from everything that I found close to me.
Just over the last week, I was hit by what I feared the most. Out of all the people I knew, she was the one that I felt so attached with, for reasons I am unable to define. I was, perhaps too over-expected, a lukewarm response.
What I received was an absolutely cold shoulder, without even a moment taken for second thoughts. A much too crude way to say ‘I don’t give a damn about you’. Coming from someone I respected so much, having probably the best of manners and attitude, I was shocked to hear this. I though I had analysed her quite well, but now it seems rather a mistake.
Since that day, for over a week, I haven’t made any effort to talk to her, and neither with her colleagues, although they were my friends even before she came on board.
Deep inside I feel lost and detached with myself. As if everything has changed lanes, and I’m finding it rather difficult to reason with such changes. If I were to apply logic here, I practically have only as much time as I’ve already spent to make things happen. After that, is only a matter of time.
Inspite of being heart broken, I am somehow comprehending with things around me, with the intention to possibly regain my lost energy, and push myself in the right direction. I am only hoping that I do not make a mistake again. I don’t have the courage to bear it again, and the pain would be unbearable, to let me live peacefully for the rest of my time.