I woke up yesterday feeling very tired, unknowing of what is to come and how will the day go by. To be honest, I was feeling uneasy about everything.
Later at noon, a friend of mine comes online to tell me that something is wrong, and I should call up F, a mutual friend of ours. She had received a message from him that his father had expired, and she asked me to call him up and confirm this, because she was getting real worried.
Now I was really worried too, this was terrible news and in no way could F have kept away from calling me or updating me. I called him up, and he confirmed that his father had expired just an hour ago – severe heart attack. He had complained of chest pain earlier, F took him to the doctor, where the doctor said its out of our hands, and there’s no chance of survival.
However, talking to F was strange. It was as if he was taking this as a huge challenge, and not even the least shaken. Knowing him for years, I’d expect him to do just the same, but inside I know what he would be feeling. He is left with his mother and brother to take care of, in the absence of his father. Yesterday, his relatives had come down from Hyderabad to make the arrangements for the funeral, and take the body over to Hyderabad and lay it to rest there.
I regret not being there with him, to support him through this tough time. F is one of my best friends. In just over a year I have come across the deaths of 2 of my best friends’ fathers. In each of these cases, I never knew them in any way. But in both cases I felt the longing for my own father, who is so far away from me. At times like these, I feel I should be with him, and take care of him like a son should. I have been here in Karachi, away from him, trying my best to take care of my mother and siblings. I realize I’m not doing a good job of that either, although I am trying my best.
Someone said to me once tht whatever you do, give it your best shot, but don’t try too much. If you do, you end up losing badly, as you tend to be extra cautious. And that’s perhaps where I make a miserable attempt to do a lot of it.
Dad, I miss you, and I don’t want to be away from you. Although I am your eldest son, I should be strong and take care of things with authority, but there are times when I feel that having you with me would give me a real confidence boost. I have learnt from you a great many things, and I would continue do that; but implementing is something I need a lot of encouragement, and that I need from you too.
F, my dear friend, I regret not being there with you when you need support. But I promise you that when you come back to Karachi, I’ll be coming over without any delay. My friend, my deepest condolences for you and your family, and from those who have wished the same for you. May your father rest in peace, and may his soul be Blessed by Allah. Aameen.